Mysterious crop formations are appearing once again.
At least five unusual designs have been discovered across Britain.
This feels like a nostalgic throwback.
I recall that period when summer months brought regular reports of damaged fields and suggestions that extraterrestrial beings might be responsible.
During the 1990s, we genuinely believed our countryside was being toyed with by visitors from other worlds, while aircraft near the Bermuda Triangle were mysteriously vanishing.
There’s a popular image pointing out that the frequency of reported miracles has declined since smartphones became widespread, and following the same logic, the Bermuda Triangle has fallen out of conversation now that satellite navigation exists.
Steve Allen has expressed puzzlement about the recent appearance of crop circles across the country.
This implies the phenomenon has become so firmly rooted in human activity that law enforcement has cautioned that perpetrators could face prosecution.
That would suggest the public considers them to be human creations.
It would be an ambitious stance from police to suggest they could issue penalties to a parked unidentified flying object.
Any civilisation possessing the technology to traverse the universe to reach our planet, yet somehow authorities believe they can track them down.
Perhaps the extraterrestrials would be simple to deceive.
If your grand plan with unlimited advanced technology is to arrive at another world and crush some grain, you lack considerable intelligence.
Clearly, humans are responsible.
In 1991, a pair of individuals named Doug Bower and Dave Chorley admitted to producing over 200 crop formations dating back to the late 1970s using nothing more elaborate than ropes and wooden planks.
They drew motivation from a 1966 report of a UFO encounter in Australia where a spacecraft allegedly created a flattened section of reeds in a lagoon.
They concluded that they could replicate this feat.
The original culprits won’t be responsible for any appearing in 2026.
The 1990s were quite some time past.
Anyone conducting such activities then would be approaching pensionable age now.
Too elderly for a countryside behaviour order.
It seems more plausible that aliens are responsible.
For all we can determine, these might represent a communication method we haven’t yet deciphered.
If humans are behind this, they have among the most peculiar pastimes imaginable.
What’s your preference for weekend leisure? Pressing down some crops?
Whether these field patterns originate from alien visitors or from practical jokers, both should acknowledge that their moment has passed.
Steve Allen works as a comedian, broadcaster and writer; for additional content from Steve, tune into his podcast ‘Steve N Allen Almost Daily’.